


Wiener Town

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Awkward First Times, Dave rambling, First Time, Genitalia confusion, Is that a thing, M/M, Nerds banging, Quadrant Confusion, Sexual Confusion, Troll Genitalia, Xeno, xeno dongs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-06 07:52:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3126821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh dude. Are we heading into wiener town because lemme tell you, I am the motherfucking mayor of wiener town.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Is this seriously happening. Oh dude. Are we heading into wiener town because lemme tell you, I am the motherfucking mayor of wiener town.” 

“Dave,” 

“Gonna jump in here and wave all the ladies down, speech ‘em up, yo,” 

“Dave,” 

“Ain’t nobody gonna have a question about who runs this joint. ‘Shit dude. Dave Strider fuckin’ owns that dick. Didn’t you hear? He’s the motherfuckin’ mayor of-“ 

“DAVE!” 

“…” 

Dazzling red eyes flicked upwards to meet yours, making you glance away with a cringe. You could never take that piercing gaze, you were too used to the blank stare of black shades, but knowing he was actually looking at you was the most intense thing you had ever experienced in your entire life. 

“Looks like somebody’s got a stick up their ass,” You groan, and not in the sexy way either, you were just fucking annoyed by now. “Contrary to popular belief, Strider, I have enough sense and of a pan not to put anything near quote, “where the sun don’t sh-,” “Aw dude really. Are you pitching here because I’m not sure if I’m ready for a dong up my ass. Shit looks intense,” He interrupted you. He always interrupts you. 

“Dave. I am five words away from getting up and walking home with my bulge out just to spite you.” You challenge, raising a thick brow and crossing your arms over your chest. It was an empty threat, and he knew that, but it was worth a shot. 

“What if those words are ‘Hey there sexy alien babe’” 

“Not helping,” 

“Damn,” 

You couldn’t believe this was the idiot you fell in flush for. Of all people on this stupid meteor, this was the guy you ended up pailing with? You’d always had rotten luck, but this just took the grub loaf. 

The two of you were on his platform, crinkling his stupid red record sheets and making out like no tomorrow. Well, until someone decided to have a fit when your hands ducked a little low. His hair is mussed a bit, and yours is probably a huge mess from how much Dave has been pulling it, but you tried not to think about that. All you wanted to focus on was him. His features, his eyes, his lips. You wanted to kiss and caress every inch of his disgustingly delicate and awfully perfect skin. You wanted to ruin him, you wanted to pamper him…

Okay, you were beginning to sound waaay too sappy, even for you, which was saying something. ¬

You sat up, (a bit difficult considering you were straddling his waist) and put your hands on either of his shoulders, forcing yourself to meet eyes with him. “Get real for a second Strider.” 

The blond boy in front of you almost drops the cool guy façade for a moment, glancing down and nibbling his lower lip slightly. It was at least refreshing to know you weren’t the only one here who was nervous. 

“…” 

There was a long pause. Dave looked at you. You looked at him. 

“So we are going to wiener town?” 

What you do next is not exactly your smartest move. You growl in frustration, a low reverberating tone in the back of your throat, before you shoved the boy down on the bed, “Dave I’m not kidding!” you half-shouted, teeth grit. 

He looks up at your, eyes wide, terrified, and you instantly soften. Humans don’t do the weird troll hate thing. You kept forgetting that. You didn’t want to scare Dave, in fact that was the exact opposite of the goal you had in mind- 

He tugs you down by the collar of you long-sleeved t-shirt suddenly, as if he was about to strangle you and the mere thought of something so hateful is so overwhelming, that your entire body freezes up at his next move. His lips force themselves against yours, but in a gentle kneading; nothing like a black kiss. It was so delicate, borderline pale, but Dave could pull it off. You shuddered, melting slightly into the kiss. 

You were going to bang a human.


	2. boop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another short update haha

Your lips nearly curl into a giddy grin when you kiss him back, half-surprised he even considered continuing this after the stunt you pulled. You can feel his weird pink lips crook up slight into a smile, before it quickly faded as he focused back to the kiss. Then there was a tongue in your mouth. Well hello there. 

A low purr echoes in the back of your throat, and you instantly regret letting that slip, because Dave is pulling away, his signature asshole-ish chuckle practically singeing your pointed ears. You grit your teeth, pulling away to glare down at him. 

“Jesus fucking Christ. What is it now?” You try to sound angry, and your tone is about halfway there, but not quite. You were just a bit too turned on to control your voice properly. 

“I’m sorry Karks, but damn, it just never gets old.” He flashes you an innocent, toothy grin, and you hiss. 

“Fuck you. I can’t control that and you know it,” That was a lie, but hey, he didn’t need to know just yet did he? “Now please, for love of mother grub’s swollen sphincter, let’s just get on with it.” 

He makes a face then, and sticks out his tongue. “Okay, sick dude. Totally killed my boner. Fat bug vaginas ain’t exactly a turn-on for me,” This time it’s his turn to cross his arms, and he raises a skeptical brow at you. You face palm. 

“You know, you were the one who suggested we actually do this,” 

“Well yeah. Your boner was jabbing my thigh, what else was I supposed to do?” 

“My what?” You know exactly what he means, and you flush furiously. It wasn’t your fault Dave was so good at kissing. And hot. And… 

“Don’t tell me I gotta explain the birds and the bees to you,” He smirks slightly, and before you can reply, banters on. “When a guy and a gal love each other very much, sometimes that bro will put his foot long in her hanky—…”

You decided that was the last straw. Resorting to a last-ditch plan to get this thing rolling, you had canted your hips forward, grinding down lightly against his, and causing a slight purr to escape you. He glances up at you, shocked, and doesn’t say a word. Still frowning, you muster: “Shut up,” 

The two simple words send a shudder down his spine, and for a moment, he glances away, unable to meet your gaze. That surprises the hell out of you. Did you seriously just best the great Strider? You’d never been able to get him quiet with just those words, but now? 

You supposed the obvious lump in his pants had something to do with it, but you liked to think other wise. 

You offered a smile, and reached down carefully brushing some hair from his eyes. “Can we just do this, Strider? You’re making this pretty hard,” He opens his mouth to speak, and you shush him, “Pun not intended,” you add coldly.

After a moment, he slowly nods, and leans up to catch your lips with his own, and once again, you were at his mercy. There was just something about those ridiculously soft muscles that set you up a wall. That smooth, disgustingly squishy tongue of his pressed up against your thin sand-paper-esque one made you go insane, and no matter what you had been doing at the time, you always stopped to enjoy that contact for even a moment or two. You weren’t sure If he knew just yet, but you needed him. Despite how ridiculously annoying this idiot could be, you craved that son of a bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> i know this cuts off badly but im sleepy and i wanted to at least finish part of this :C hope you guys enjoy!


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